Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman

I'm not one of those parents to go around boasting about my technique and how wonderful my daughter is. Like all kids, she's only wonderful some of the time and the jury is definitely still out on how much my parenting technique contributes to this. I do have opinions though based on what's worked for me but I"m not going to share those here either. You need to make up your own mind as a parent. With this little disclaimer in place, please don't take my review of this book as a full-fledged endorsement of any one parenting style or a condemnation of any other. Whew.

I really like Bringing Up Bebe for the simple reason that, no matter the specific parenting topic being discussed the book reminded me I don't have to be a neurotic mother to raise a happy, well-adjusted child. French parenting is all about finding the calmer route to parenting, maintaining a sense of self from within that mommy role, and really striving toward building a child's confidence and sense of self. It was refreshing to read about simple ways to get to these goals which mostly made a lot of sense to me.

As a mom with a 3 1/2 year-old and another baby on the way in a few months, the first part of this book was a great refresher into the new baby parenting challenges which I think I've blocked from memory. I especially liked the French attitude of getting to know your child even in infancy - talking to them from day 1, pausing to really listen and understand their needs, etc. Of course, my mind was continually blown away by the fact that French children sleep through the night very quickly (on average) and don't snack continually throughout the day. And, France's state programs to support child care and provide reasonable insurance to pregnant women is staggeringly better than anything dreamed up in the U.S. But, I definitely could never go all French when parenting if I suddenly needed to.

What's great about Bebe is that it isn't a parenting manual. You're not being told to do anything. It's more of an anthropological review of French parenting with one women reacting and implementing aspects of the style then sharing her own impressions. It's very passive so there's no pressure to alter your parenting style but rather just an opportunity to enjoy reading a parenting book (for once.) The highlights for me where the focus on strengthening and encouraging autonomy in children - a value I rank highly in general - as well as the calmer approach to parenting which I'm always reminding myself to attempt.

So, recommending this read is a little difficult. It's really interesting and well-written for any mom (or dad) looking to gain some insight into parenting techniques outside of our own little bubble, but it's not an instruction manual and you won't agree with everything that's presented in here. It's best read as a memoir consisting of a well-researched recollection of a woman's entry into motherhood while living abroad. I do think it's a more enjoyable read once you've already had a child so you can reflect on the parenting you've done so far and connect more with the story in general. I really like that it has helped me starting thinking ahead as well to when I'll be parenting a newborn once again.